No One Likes a Hustler

With online poker becoming Western Society's new favorite indoor activity, it was only natural before online poker strategists and hustlers started thinking of ways to extract the maximum amount of money from their opponents at all costs. My favorite indoor activity is practicing showing down the Hammer (7-2 offsuit) using only my rather wide, but surprisingly charming, head if you were curious.

Anyway, some of these tips include heckling your opponents via the chat window, relentlessly hammering them (no pun intended) and showing down your successful bluffs, getting revenge by waiting too long to act, whining about bad beats, and other questionable activities.

This type of game play is all too reminiscent of a cardroom hustler, who unscrupulously and shamelessly uses every available trick in the book to try and lie, swindle, and deceive his opponents out of any extra chip that he can. He'll do things like purposely knocking over his chips when he holds a big hand to elicit a call, or rambling on about anything he can think of just to elicit some sort of physical response. These types of players generally aren't respected by the rest of the table because they don't show any respect. Players hate to lose a pot to them because they're just so obnoxious. With online poker becoming more aggressive at every step, it was only natural before these "online hustlers" showed up. Now, I understand that you might not care about online poker etiquette or if anyone likes you at the table. The truth is I don't really care about it, either. When I play poker, I play to win money - plain and simple. I don't play poker to make friends. That isn't the reason why I play a respectful game. I hope to show you why it's in your bankroll's best interest to be liked at the table.

First of all, let's take you down memory lane to that hand last week when the tuna with the Q-3 drew out on your A-A. You raised the size of the pot preflop from middle position, and he was the only one to stay in. The flop came out with J-3-7 and your opponent checks to you. You bet the pot again to discourage a draw, and he thinks about it before he doubles your raise! You go all-in feeling good about your hand, and he calls you. As you sat back and smile to yourself, running Q-Q hits the turn and river to give your opponent a miracle full house. Exploding into the chat box, you think of every four-letter chat-censored word in the book, barely getting out the words "suck out", "fish", "donkey", "BS", and a statement questioning the bias of the random number generator.

What have you accomplished here? Did you really make yourself feel better, or just increase your tilt factor a little more? Did it get you your chips back? Did it make anyone else at the table feel better? What you've done is make yourself the whining poker brat at the table. Why does that hurt you? You've not only made yourself a target, but you aren't any fun to play with! It may sound silly, but you want to be someone that your opponent's won't mind losing to in the future. Who do you think that you can make more money from: a table full of laughing opponents or a table full of angry opponents? If you use the chat box, consider complimenting your fishy brethren on that awful play. Maybe he'll try it again when you've hit quad Aces on the flop! Of course you're going to be steaming, but why let your opponents in on it?

Another common tactic to try and set your opponents off is to show down your successful bluffs. The goal here is to make your opponents so agitated with you that they personally go after you, thus paying you off when you're holding a big hand next time. While I'm all for trapping your opponents, you're just "rubbing it in" by doing this, showing off your superior play. It might make him play better on the next hand, but most importantly, why give the whole table that kind of information? I always click the box to automatically muck losing and uncalled hands. Often, I like to put a lot of pressure on from late position. Usually, it's with good hands. However, if my opponents never see me show those hands down, they'll start to believe that I'm just bluffing more often than not. If you're involved in a lot of pots, you can almost guarantee more action on your good hands. When you have the choice, remain as mysterious as possible. Your opponents can't fault you for never showing your cards, but they can fault you for bluffing them and then showing it off.

Personal revenge also seems to fuel action at the table. After a player has just drowned on the river because the guy with the 2-outer hit his inside straight, the chat boxes can erupt in personal threats and payback assurances from the "victim". Perhaps it's just to calm the ego or to satisfy some sort of instinctual testosterone machismo, but payback at a poker table will only hurt your wallet. If you aren't in your optimal poker-playing mental state, you aren't making the best decisions. Worse yet is that you've given away the fact that you're now on tilt. The guy that you're going after will inevitably get another big hand, and since you're so determined to bust him, you'll probably pay him off with a second-best hand. What will losing another big pot to your new rival do to your confidence and table image? The best course of action is to keep quiet, stay off tilt, and build your stack back up regardless of who you take it from. After all, $100 won from players 1-4 buys just as many things as $100 won from your arch nemesis player 5, right?

When you play poker online, the only identifying features are a screen name and an avatar. You're nameless, faceless, and anonymous. Because you aren't looking your opponents in the face across the felt, you might be tempted to try and "hustle" the table, or goad them into giving you more money. When faced with a bet from an opponent they don't like, I've even seen players wait until their decision time expires, have their hand automatically folded, let the software sit them out, and get right back into the game when it's their turn. This is absolutely childish and will only cause the other players to make it a goal to bust you out. Try to show respect for the rest of the table and create a fun environment for them to play in. Even if you don't care what they think of you, do it for your bankroll.

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