My Favorite Bad Beat Story

We all have our favorite bad beat stories to tell - usually ranging from getting your 4 deuces cracked by 4 threes on the river to losing with the top full house on the flop. These bad beats usually take place in the wild world of online poker, where any hand is possible from any opponent at any time.

While I've had my share of online beats, my favorite bad beat story comes from a home game that I was playing in a couple of years ago. What's unique about this story is the fact that I was actually on the other end of the bad beat and I've got to tell you, it's pretty darn fun to be on the other side of a bad beat once in a while. As I recall…

It was a cool spring day in the middle of April. Poker had been skyrocketing in popularity over the past couple of years, and as most old-timers do, I longed for the simpler days of poker past. I used my trusty sea-cell phone and decided to call up a few buddies from the inaugural poker game I established over 7,000 years ago. If you don't believe me, read about the REAL origins of poker. Anyway, these sea-cell phones are amazing. They run entirely off of oil from tanker spills throughout the Pacific. Whenever I hear about a new spill within 100 miles of my home, I put on my oil mask, collect a large enough sample, and I'm good to go for another 6 months. And you thought that you were harming sea life with those oil spills. Ha!

Getting back to poker, I invited Sammy Swordfish and Sergeant Stingray from the old game. We also asked a couple of new players to join the game: Oscar Octopus and Stuey Squid. We learned our lesson with Jerry last time, so we decided to invite a normal-sized squid to the game this time. The game was decided to be 1/2 clamshell no-limit Kelp Keep 'em (which plays identical to the human game of Texas Hold 'em). We all bought in for the friendly amount of 100 clamshells. It was a shorthanded game with 5 of us, and I knew that it would be important to know my opponents and how they played. I had nothing to judge Stuey and Oscar on, but I knew Sammy and Sergeant pretty well. Sammy played a pretty loose-aggressive style at our last meeting while Sergeant was more of a weak-tight player. Knowing that information about our players, let's continue…

The gang showed up at my place around 8 and we'd already knocked back a few fermented squid ink shots by 10. It's a cozy little secluded lagoon just off the coast of Maui. The game was particularly friendly this time around, as us old-timers readily rambled on about our old home games. I had suffered a couple of bad beats from Sammy, and he was actually picking up quite a few pots with any two cards and his willingness to gamble. I fought hard and worked my way back ahead to 125 clamshells. Sammy had about 200 at this point. I was on the big oyster (big blind to you land-lubbers) and as the seaweed slivers were dealt by Stuey, the dealer for the hand, I picked up 2d-4d.

This is a hand that I would readily fold, even from the small oyster. Fortunately for me, Sammy just called from seat 1, Sergeant folded, Stuey folded, and Oscar called from the small oyster. I was fine with getting a free flop, so I checked it down. Stuey threw down the flop, Ad, 3d 5c. I had the nut straight at this point, and perhaps I shouldn't have slowplayed the hand in a friendly home game but I checked the hand after Oscar. I was suspicious of Sammy, since he had been raising the last 5 hands but just called this one preflop. We were all uncharacteristically quiet on this hand. Perhaps we all had something good and wanted to pick up a few extra chips. I put on my best hammerhead face, and Sammy tried to lighten up as the turn was dealt. He said, "You guys should be glad I'm giving you a free card." Maybe it was just the ink talking.

So, the turn came with another A, of clubs this time. Sammy couldn't hide his excitement, and I didn't have to look hard to see that he was practically jumping out of his seat. "Great," I thought to myself, "He played the A-5, slowplayed it on the flop, and just hit big full. Why did you slowplay it, Hammer?" I figured that I better do something on the turn in case he only had a set or a flush draw. I bet out 10 clamshells, and Sammy thought a minute and called my bet. Oscar folded his hand. I said out loud, "I knew that I would get myself into trouble with this," as Sammy just gave a little chuckle.

Everyone's intrigued by this active little pot, and Stuey throws out the river, a 5d. "Shoot," I say to myself, "He's got me crushed with any Ace, and I wouldn't put him past a 5". I'm pretty much prepared to fold my hand to any sort of action, and Sammy leads out into the 26 clamshell pot with a bet of 30. I figured that I better at least look respectable before I fold, so I take a little time and look at my cards again. Wait! I've got the 2d-4d and the board looks like this: Ad, 3d, 5c, Ac, 5d. I hit the straight flush on the river! You've got to be kidding, right? With the 2d-4d? Hey, I got a free play at it and now I've got the absolute best hand possible. I decide to sell my hand and get anything I can for it. I double Sammy's bet to 60. He quickly counters by shoving in his whole stack.

At this point, I don't want any hurt feelings since the game has been going so well so I warn Sammy, "Are you sure you want to do that?". Sammy laughs out loud and says, "You'll see." Hey, he's asking for it. I call his bet, putting me all-in. Sammy confidently flips up his pocket Aces! He hit 4 Aces on the turn, an amazing hand. As the rest of the table oohs and aahs, I tell everyone to wait a minute and flip over my hand casually. "Hey," Sammy explains, "I've been waiting 7,000 years for this. Four-of-a-kind beats a flush, you know that! The fish finally beats the shark." I ask him to take another look at the board and it finally sinks in - his 4 Aces were cracked. I was pretty impressed with the way he handled it, and the rest of the game went okay. We're old buddies, what's a bad beat for a few hundred clamshells between friends?

This is a fun bad beat story, but there's also a valuable lesson included: Don't ever slowplay Aces, and always pay attention to the board. I almost mucked my hand until I realized what I actually held. This could have been a very costly, and stupid, mistake. Before the next card show up, try to visualize what cards will improve your hand. That way, you'll instantly know if you've got a monster when you see it come up. On Sammy's part, he made a huge mistake by slowplaying his pocket Aces preflop. If he makes any sort of raise, I am out of that hand faster than you can say, "flying flounders". Play your Aces right, and don't try to read the board after a few squid ink shots.

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